by dorarandom

my father’s wife left me a voicemail on sunday—the day before yesterday—-telling me that my father had been moved to a nursing home for twenty days of nursing care. the message didn’t make a ton of sense but she mentioned the name of the place and sounded positive about it. i felt calmer. 

then yesterday my brother called me. i have two brothers, actually—two half-brothers—much older than i am. one of them is more or less estranged so i only really have occasion to talk about the other. he is living in england at the moment. we like each other quite well but i’ve hardly spoken to him since he went over there in the fall. he was thoroughly morose on the phone yesterday—it was like i was talking to a big depressing rock—but mostly i didn’t even get to talk to him because my sister-in-law got on the line and started saying all kinds of crazy stuff quite vociferously. she doesn’t trust my father’s wife. in a big way—she thinks that she neglects my father—and actually thinks that there’s some sort of conspiracy afoot—i just wrote several sentences here trying to summarize her thoughts but realized that i never did figure out what she was talking about, conspiracy-wise. it was sort of a scary conversation. because i don’t consider my sister-in-law an especially delusional person, but the things she was saying were definitely not reality-based. i felt like i was suddenly in the brothers karamazov or something.

i intend to start making arrangements to go to florida today. it is pouring rain. maybe i should reread the brothers karamazov. it was my favorite book when i was in high school, i think.