M is for melodramatic.
for the past few days, the found man and i have been regularly trading pleasant fun non-threatening questions and youtube clips and so forth. it’s added a completely unexpected and wonderful element of non-despair to my life. and made me recollect how lonely it is to be lonely. so i’m up early to dread going to work. (ahhh, good old despair!) i can’t stand the thought of going to work today. sitting in a room by myself, feeling uncomfortable in my dressy little work outfit because it’s dressy and because i know it isn’t actually dressy enough, feeling the presence and hearing the sound of lawyers. i need warmth and sincerity. i’m dying without them. i need the thing itself, the missing all, somebody to say yes to it. i feel like i need to lay in bed and listen to north country maid on repeat about a hundred times and watch movies with emma thompson in them. ‘i apologize but i cannot come to work today. i’m having a sad music emergency. yes, it’s serious. and hearing about your collective weekend will make it even worse.’