je ne regrette rien.

by dorarandom

the found man won’t be in baltimore this weekend. “with great regret,” he says. i think he is a horribly sentimental person. and i know i am a horribly sentimental person! if we have nothing else in common, we have the fact that we’re both horribly sentimental letter-writers. i’m just going to paste my reply to his regret here in full, warts and emoticons and all, because it just made me happy to write it.   :

well well well, Mr. Disappointment!

honestly i am a little bit relieved. though more disappointed than relieved. like maybe 80% disappointed and 20% relieved. or 70% and 30% ? here’s what i am good at: overanalyzing things.

“the offer to visit my home” is of course still on the table. 😛 to get overly analytical again: you and i went on one date about two years ago. it was the best date i’ve ever been on, and to be sure i have been on some bad dates, but i’ve been on good ones too. and you tell me it was the best date that you’ve ever been on. and probably you too have had your share of good ones. it’s statistically improbable! i mean, seriously, what are the ODDS of that!? for the past two years, every couple of months you send me a message on facebook or a drunk text or something and i get all rueful and sentimental. clearly it really bothers both of us that we never saw each other again. when i saw your message last week i decided to harness the powers of socially inappropriate honesty in hopes of ending this nonsense.

why is that They always tell you that the absolute worst thing you can do is to tell someone how you really feel? like if you’re honest with someone—and God forbid honestly warm and complimentary—the world is going to explode or something. i mean, personally, i think honesty is amazing. feel free to send me as many drunk emails as you like about how i am awesome and i inexplicably get on your mind, etc. for some weird reason, i don’t mind hearing that. 😛

speaking of the world exploding! : you have to watch dr. strangelove. it is so funny and brilliant. i’m serious. this is an assignment and there will be a test.