at 10 pm i am feeling lonely, cowardly, unloved, and unloveable. i heard nothing from no one today. nothing from LP. nothing from nobody else. “normally” i am good about not checking my email a million times a day, normally i am so severe and disciplined about these things that i’m not even tempted, but when i got home from work today i sent LP a bunch of pictures of my water heater because yesterday he told me to send them. so he could tell me what to do so i could have hot water and could assure me that i would not die an exploding fiery agonizing death. so he could do something kind for me.
i don’t want to take another cold shower. i want a proper hot shower. i don’t want a mind that dwells on exploding fiery agonizing deaths. i want a really big man with a really deep voice to say reassuring things to me.
and there we have it.
and unexpectedly, somehow, writing this made me feel a lot better.