hedonism is the new black.

by dorarandom

eff austerity

getting my clothes out of the dryer, i started reproaching myself for thinking too much about LP—then laughing about how absurdly harsh i am with my own profoundly gentle self—then realized that of course i’m feeling things a little differently these days because i stopped taking prozac earlier this week. ‘go to hell, prozac! you will decrease my libido no more! and i will feel emotions! yeah! like a human being! i will experience allllll the rasas! all of them at once if i want to!’

it’s not like i’ve never not taken prozac before. (i tell myself.) i didn’t have any for most of the time when i was in italy. for example. where i took the lovely photo you see here. yes, dear, but rome is not baltimore. baltimore, with nothing to take the edge off, is going to take some getting used to.

so i blocked my mother from my phone. that helped. wow, talk about taking the edge off.  boy howdy. but i need something more. i need to let myself write here. and there. manage these damn emotions the old-fashioned way.