a piercing virtue.
LP has been a skittish dick since i left chicago and continues skittishly dickishly on. i don’t get it. i spent a fair amount of time speculating last week over reasons-for-it. speculation neither interesting nor profitable. i’d like to exile him from my mind altogether but i left things at his house (intentionally, with his full knowledge and consent) in anticipation of the Next Visit. so i still have to assume that there will be a Next Visit. and then i have to remember that i had a terrific lot of fun with LP; LP is almost 6 foot 4; LP is smart and wild and interesting and loves his children fiercely; LP devours meals most thrillingly; LP’s pyjama sleeping shirt couldn’t quite cover his belly and it was distractingly adorable.
and now here i am at work on a boring wednesday afternoon melting into all-forgiving lust. i wish i could look forward to going home and calling LP and inflicting the lust on him but my daily affirmation sentences me to “AUTONOMY” today.
so i inflict it on you, imaginary reader. and i will tell you something else besides. when a man who is something of a fat slob meets a woman who is neither of those things, who is younger than he is, and who lusts after fat slobs—well, i just think that man should realize how lucky he is. i feel odd saying that, but. hey, in twelve days, i’m going to have botulinum toxin injected into my vagina. and knowing that, i feel odd all the time. this is a season of oddity.