the sports team from my area is superior to the sports team from your area and thus i am superior to you.

by dorarandom

i just said that i hope the orioles move to another town because everyone in baltimore would kill themselves.

the orioles are in “the playoffs.”

i didn’t mean to say that. deep breath and count to ten. my freakout surprised me. but i am really angry at sports right now because there are two going on at the same time.

i didn’t mean to say that but i do mean it. i understand the appeal of football—and especially the appeal of the ravens, because they are unabashed violent criminals—but i think baseball is incredibly boring and (i have discovered) i actually resent the orioles. o weep for me for i had a traumatic baseball childhood. my mother’s firm had season tickets for many years— of course i tried to be interested—but i am incapable of caring whether one team beats another team. i just do not have the gene. and, i repeat, baseball is boring. and they play so often, how can you get excited about the outcome of any particular game? okay, i know there are people who have a head for statistics who are in thrall to baseball for all its statistical abundance—that i can understand—but i think that confirms how actually boring the game is.

i used to get in serious trouble for trying to read at baseball games. i guess i’m not over it. (even if they were somewhat interesting, they couldn’t be more interesting than oliver twist, okay?)

my poor father didn’t ever try to read but he used to get in serious trouble for not liking baseball enough.