by dorarandom

ask me ask me ask me

that is a pretty clever idea for a jerky t shirt.

fun fact: if you start typing ‘ask me about my v ‘ google suggests VELOCIRAPTOR.

i am officially excited about going up to new hampshire this weekend. it’s a place that i really like anyway: the graves, the apples, the biting cold, the christmas tree shops, the fact that the old man in the mountain fell down but it’s still on all the highway signs and of course the state quarter—(another fun fact: the Old Man’s collapse is eerily predicted in the immortal curse of the blue figurine)—etc. hella bucolic and i can’t think of a place where i’d rather have surgery. or nonsurgery. (unsurgery?)

anyway i had my pre-Procedure briefing phone call with my surgical-tech-to-be this afternoon. (i had a couple hours alone at the office.) she seemed chill; i liked the sound of her. and it really is funny how everyone from the mad doctor’s office likes to emphasize that it’s not surgery, it’s a surgical procedure. and yes that’s true, and that is a nontrivial distinction—but it’s still funny. because there will be general anesthesia, there will be needles in my vagina, there will be blood. lulzy!

last night i had my (required) festival of depilation. i remembered that i was actually in the dreaded vagina monologues in my freshman year of college and my monologue was the one about what a drag it is to shave your pubic hair. (i believe it is called ‘hair.’) i was painfully shy back then—and i wasn’t really enthralled with the whole vagina monologues franchise concept—but i went to a very liberal arts college where basically all we did was talk about inappropriate things.

i believe i am finally getting back in touch with my love of talking about inappropriate things. well. and i’m glad.