at a loss.

by dorarandom

in the car yesterday with The Gift Horse i saw a billboard for a show that was being broadcast on an “over-the-air” channel. i thought this sounded quaint and a little bizarre. The Gift Horse explained that it meant that it wasn’t on cable. and this led to him explaining that channels now aren’t just whole numbers. there’s still a channel 13 but there’s also a 13.1, 13.2, etc. it all changed about five years ago when everything switched over to broadcasting in HD. etc.

i really didn’t know any of this and i was disturbed that i didn’t know.

there are times when i feel like i’ve gotten so far from The World that i’ll never make it back again. (these are sad times. sad thoughts.) when i really feel so intimidated by The World that saying or doing anything about my life—doing anything with intention—seems impossible. (again, these are sad thoughts.)

i should call my real solid everlasting friends—and i should go to church—and pray—and i should read solid everlasting books—and i should write here, maybe—and write somewhere else, definitely—but i keep putting off everything healing and wholesome. i don’t know. you explain it to me.